


How do I give a blowjob?

by Harker13, Masamune7



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Blow Jobs, Blow Jobs Instructions, Blow Jobs in a Car, First Time Blow Jobs, Implied/Referenced Blow Jobs, M/M, POV Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 12:30:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20966597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Harker13/pseuds/Harker13, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Masamune7/pseuds/Masamune7
Summary: Kinktober 06: Blow Job.John is exhausted from dealing with Sherlock's work pace, could his roommate come up with something to help him relax?





	How do I give a blowjob?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm reading a wonderful Mystrade at the moment. I really had tons of fun writing this ... how I love an scandalized Mycroft (reminds me of myself constantly).
> 
> Special thanks to Masamune7 for sending me THAT Mystrade and made me remember I actually have a soft spot in my heart.

It had been a long day at the clinic, John was clearly exhausted from the past week. They spent the last five nights awake, going through infinite stacks of evidence. The living room of 221B Baker Street looked like a war zone full of documents, folders, pictures and notes spread all over the floor. This case took an abnormally amount of time to get solved, and every time a new lead crossed Sherlock’s mind, he just stormed out from the flat without even checking if he had shoes on. John always joined the chase (twice holding Sherlock’s shoes as they ran). They finally managed to wrap up everything on Sunday evening.

Sherlock slept for 14 hours straight after that. Unfortunately, if they wanted to keep the bills to date and cope with the huge amount of money spent in Sherlock’s dry cleaning, John needed to keep working and keep covering shifts at the clinic.

He didn’t even say “Hi” when entered the flat. John took his shoes and coat off and head to the fridge, ignoring the little bag with chopped ears that was resting next to the leftovers of an unappetizing lasagna. He stared at if for a few seconds, closed the door and headed to where Sherlock was sit typing in his laptop.

_“I’m too tired to even fight about you not doing the shopping… again! …. gonna take a shower; don’t talk to me for the next hour; I’m going to lock the door” _

An offended consulting detective lifted his gaze to face the doctor.

_“Why? What if you fall, hit your head and drop dead? … by the minute I could enter the bathroom or throw down the door, then it will be too late because you will be on a vegetative state due to the concussion and I’ll have to debate myself between cleaning your drool for the rest of our lives or disconnect you from respiratory assistance.”_

_“What the f …? Sherlock, I’m going to say this straight to your face because there’s not even a remote chance I want you to open that damn door in the next hour, not even if I must sign a DNR order, I’ll take my chances …”_

_“Are you planning to kill yourself?”_

_“SHERLOCK! I’M HAVING A WANK OK? Christ … I just need a bit of space and time for myself since I’m going bloody insane because of sleep deprivation and nurturing only on leftovers! AND! since I presume you’re gonna keep scaring off all my dates, then I need to do it myself ‘cause I don’t even have enough money to go and pay for a decent blowjob!... happy?!”_

He paused for a moment to grab air – “_Just… just leave me alone for one bloody hour and go get us some food, please…” – _John reached for his wallet and pulled a 20£ note _– “get us something for dinner”._

And with that final statement, John Watson huffed and locked himself in the bathroom; leaving a perplex Sherlock Homes standing in the middle of the living room.

So, myths and legends were true… men DO really need those… “recreational activities” in order to be able to function properly. Just like apes. Well, in his mind John Watson was a mildly cute ape, but certainly an indispensable one for him. An ape Sherlock was determined to help. He started typing a text.

MESSAGES  
8:38pm: FaceTime. Urgent. SH

Not even 10 seconds had passed when Sherlock’s laptop ringed from an incoming Facetime call. Mycroft’s annoyed face appeared in the screen as he answered, sit with one leg crossed above the other, holding a drink.

_“I’m in the middle of something, Brother Dear … shall we make this quick? I presume there’s not so much urgency as your text suggests. What is it this t…?” _

Before he could finish that sentence, a very enthusiastic Greg Lestrade stood in front of Mycroft’s face, looking way to close to the camera.

_“Hey, Sherlock!”_

_“What is Lestrade doing there?” – _he was hoping to have a private conversation with his brother.

_“Laundry!”- _Grinned Greg, holding up a basket full of white shirts.

_“Don’t you own a washing machine? I thought the MET paid better.”_

_“What do you mean? He lives here…” – _Mycroft advocated.

_“Since when?” – _Sherlock asked.

_“A year ago?” – _Mycroft and Greg looked at each other, coordinating a response.

_“That’s disgusting, I don’t intend to dig deeper on the perks of your … association. However, this time Lestrade’s primitive mind may be helpful”_

_ “What is it, mate?” – _asked an annoyed but not surprised Greg.

_“I need … instructions…” - _Sherlock hesitated and looked down to his entwined hands_ – “for a … to give ora…”_

_“What’s that? We can’t hear you” – _Mycroft and Greg approached the screen at the same time.

_“How … do you two perform … oral sex on … each … other?” – _said finally, without looking at the screen.

Their faces were petrified with a mix of confusion, disgusts, and shock. Was Sherlock really asking them THAT? Greg was the first to speak.

_“Hmmm … you know there are plenty of websites that could provide that same information, right?” _

_“I tried once, but it’s incredibly tedious to search among all those videos. All the fake sounds; all the … disgusting moans, and …_” - Sherlock kept shrugging just with the idea of having to look again a pair of fake boobs bouncing for over an hour in front of his face.

_“Mummy never prepared me to have THE talk with you, it was her job for God’s sake!” – _Mycroft seemed he was about to throw up his very expensive liquor.

_“Mate, it’s actually just … going with the flow. But basically, the other person needs to know what you’re doing, your intentions, and she…he? … must want to, as well. Who’s the lucky … person?” – _Greg wasn’t implying that Sherlock was gay; but he was 100% sure about it anyway.

_“Who else? John, of course” – _obviously.

Greg tried to _Hi-five_ Mycroft at the same time the other Holmes brother grunted and took his head to one of his hands, idly pulling out his wallet with the other and handing Greg a 5£ note.

_“Told you there was something cooking between them”_ – said a triumphant Lestrade.

_“There’s nothing cooking between us; just that John needs to relax, and he made very clear his desire of someone giving him … oral … pleasure. I thought if I could fulfil his carnal need, we could get back to work. Promptly. It’s a matter of practicality if you think it through.” – _Sherlock put his hands under his chin as if he had just given the most normal and logical speech.

_“Yeah, that’s what he said, ha!”_ – Greg turned to Mycroft, laughing.

_“This conversation is going to leave a scar in my brain; I think I’m already feeling the symptoms of trauma. Dear God … I need more alcohol._” – Mycroft stood, heading up to the bar and refilling his drink.

Greg turned the laptop to himself and sat at the sofa, ready to teach an oral sex masterclass.

_“Don’t worry, mate! I got your back on this one … the first thing you need to do is set the mood. You cannot just pop in John’s room, slam open the door and shout - _Watson! Its time! Take your pants off!! – “

_“I … I would never…” – _Sherlock stuttered.

_“Course you wouldn’t, it’s just for dramatic purposes … what I mean is; you need to lure John into your “web”; he’s so proud of his so-called unquestionable heterosexuality that he would not be an easy catch, even if it’s just for the sake of his sanity and yours. He would not accept pleasure in the form of doubt about his sexuality … so, you will need to do what Holmes’s brothers do best.” – _Greg couldn’t stop smiling.

_“Deduce?” – _said Sherlock.

_“Drink?”_ – said Mycroft in the back ground, leaning on the bar.

_“Manipulate”_ – a huge grin framed Greg’s face. – _“Myc, do you remember the first time you gave me a blowjob?”_

Mycroft kept drowning in his self-embarrassment for having this conversation with his baby brother and shook his head at Lestrade’s question proceeding to bottom up his drink – _“I need to get more whiskey, where are my keys?”._

_“I do”_ – said Lestrade – _“it was the night when I was working at the rat poisoning murders, he came by my office to retrieve a bunch of documents, did it have to do with the Russian woman? Anyway… we ended up arguing cause there was no fucking way I was going to allow him to take my case just like that! Pompous arsehole! he may have everyone wrapped around his finger but not me, not Greg Lestrade!”_

_“… get to the point, Lestrade”_ \- Sherlock yawned.

_“So, we ended up going for drinks at a near bar so he could explain the importance of me handling those papers. We ended up getting drunk and he ended up giving me head in the back of his car …”_

_“Oh God, I need to get out of here …”_ \- Mycroft kept pacing in the background looking for some of his sanity and his keys.

_“Anyway, it was wonderful but if my life depended on making a list of things to consider while giving a blowjob - bloke to bloke - for the first time, my first recommendation would be … don’t bite! … hear that, Darling!? – _and turned to make sure Mycroft had heard him.

_“Don’t bite for the love of God… and start slowly, start measuring with your hand a bit… gently stroking the length of the prick” – _he mimicked every word that came out of his mouth_ – “and then, start with the tip, licking just a bit with the tip of your tongue; or if you prefer use your thumb to gently rub the glans and using your mouth to peek small kisses on each testicle … that feels fantastic I tell you._

_You’ll start to notice how the blood fills the member and starts swelling … if you’re feeling bold already and don’t have much gag reflex … or even if you have gag reflex, some men find that incredibly sexy … you know the – _Oh! your dick’s so big I almost choke to death!…_ go straight for it mate, eat it like holding for dear life on that cock and …”_

_“GREGORY STOP! … oh, God! I need fresh air!”_ – shouted Mycroft while storming out of the door.

_“He’s gonna be ok, just a little shy, he’s …” _

But Sherlock interrupted him.

_“I’m sorry I shut off my brain when you started with the biting stuff… ok, that could work. Thank you! Bye!”–_ and Sherlock abruptly closed his laptop.

That was more repulsive than he anticipated.

He could still hear John showering, 40 minutes left then. He stood up, sent a few texts, took his coat and left the flat.

By the time John finished with his refreshing moment; he didn’t notice the slim but clearly homeless lady sitting in his bed, looking ferociously to the towel wrapped around his waist.

_“I’m sorry who are…?”_

“_Oh John! You’re out, great”_ – Sherlock approached him from behind.

_“This is Sharlene, she’s one of my contacts from my homeless network, and she voluntarily offered to pleasure you for just 5£, isn’t it marvelous? You can thank me later. Oh! And I used the rest of the money to buy burritos; I’ll leave yours in the microwave for when you’re both done”_– and just like that, Sherlock headed out to the kitchen.

John was shocked and held up a finger to avoid being rude to Sharlene while he was busy killing, no… definitely murdering Sherlock Holmes.

**Author's Note:**

> I also need a drink ...


End file.
